Being the Emotional Rock

Pregnancy brings a ton of emotions for both partners. Dads can be the solid support by actively listening, offering reassurance, and being understanding. Little things like showing excitement about the baby, affection, and endless patience during mood swings make a difference.

Book Prenatal Classes & Learn Together

Getting informed about pregnancy can strengthen the bond between couples.  Hop online or call and research prenatal classes in your area to find out the details. These classes book quickly, so check the dates and confirm with the mother-to-be; she’ll melt in admiration as you share your research and take this off her to-do list.

Sharing this knowledge not only preps dads for what’s coming but also builds teamwork and understanding. If you read a book or something interesting about baby, share this with her!

Household tasks: change the bedding!

From chores to running errands, dads can ease the load for their pregnant partners. Simple stuff like cooking healthy meals, doing laundry, and keeping the house in order greatly reduces stress and gives mom-to-be a chance to rest and focus on herself.

Think of the most challenging tasks she typically does and take those off her list. For example, changing the bedding can be a very difficult, cumbersome task—everyone knows that, and it’s even harder when pregnant and exhausted! Everyone also knows how much better you sleep on fresh, cool, clean sheets. Your partner is probably more exhausted than ever, so it’s time to step in and help.

Attend Appointments – Including All Directions and Parking!

Attending prenatal check-ups and ultrasound scans is a fantastic way for dads to connect with the pregnancy journey. It shows unity and gives dads the chance to ask questions, bond with the healthcare provider, and get updates about the baby firsthand. If possible, don’t miss these appointments!

Take on the role of figuring out where exactly to go, how to get there and the best place to park. Remember the doctors name, have health cards ready and bring a notebook/pen.

Encouraging Self-Care

Encouraging self-care is crucial during pregnancy. Instead of nagging about healthy habits like exercise and good nutrition, offering support and avoiding unsolicited advice is better. You can help your partner feel pampered by offering massages, setting up a relaxing bath, or getting her an extra pillow as her body changes.

Make Healthy Habits Simple for Her

To ensure she stays hydrated, you can prepare jugs of water with lemon wedges and keep them easily accessible for her. Additionally, consider cooking some of her favorite meals or providing her favorite cut veggies as a snack when she’s too tired to prepare them herself.

Bonding with the Baby

Pregnancy is the perfect time for dads to start bonding with their unborn child. Talking to the baby, feeling kicks, and showing your excitement are all meaningful ways to establish that connection early on. Planning for the baby’s arrival together, like setting up the nursery, also amps the excitement.

Treat your mother-to-be with a special gift for baby. It shows you’re excited and have been thinking about them Here are some adorable Baby Labels – as dad, you likely know the baby’s gender and name, you can be the first to surprise her with a custom gift.

We love the idea of the Baby Name Labels to surprise her with a practical and thoughtful gift.

Rolling with the Punches

Every pregnancy is different, and dads can show their support by being flexible and adaptable. This could mean adjusting schedules, giving extra help when needed, or being ready for unexpected birth plan changes. A willingness to adapt shows commitment and readiness to tackle parenting together.

Be the One to Set Expectations with Friends and Family

As the big day approaches, step up and be the head of communication. Get into the habit early of politely telling friends and family that you’ll let them know as soon as something happens, rather than them constantly asking or nagging your wife about “any news.”

Get the Party Started!

From the first ultrasound to baby showers and beyond, dads can actively participate in celebrating all the milestones along the way. Your mother-to-be has likely planned all the nursery details and decor, the birth plan, color palettes or themes, photos, etc. Help her out by showing genuine enthusiasm and ask her what tasks you can assist with (always ask; don’t take too much of this on yourself; she’s got it all planned, after all)

Being There, Completely

Above all, being physically and emotionally present is the most valuable gift dads can offer during pregnancy. Showing up, being involved, and demonstrating unwavering love and support create a nurturing environment so both partners can thrive as they prepare to welcome their new addition to the family.

Dads greatly impact the pregnancy experience by being supportive, involved, and attentive to their partner’s needs. By embracing this role with love and dedication, dads strengthen their relationship with their partners and can lay the groundwork for a positive and connected start to parenthood together.

Ok mamas, this is a great post to forward along to the men in your life!
Interested in your baby’s birth month – find your month here!

The post Practical Ways Dads Can Be Supportive During Pregnancy appeared first on The Mabelhood.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you prepare to send your kid to school with allergies:

Understand your child’s allergies:
Make sure you have a clear understanding of your child’s allergies, including what they are allergic to, common symptoms, and emergency procedures. Others can’t help you if you don’t have all the details, so make sure to get all the info you need before starting a plan for the school.

Prepare your medical documentation:
Provide the school with medical documentation from your child’s healthcare provider detailing their allergies, emergency contact information, and any necessary medications or treatments.

Get your child an appointment over the summer months to ensure there are no new updates or changes needed to any of the info, and you can provide the most up-to-date information for their school file.

Start developing an Allergy Action Plan:
This plan should outline specific steps to take in case of an allergic reaction, including symptoms, treatment (such as administering epinephrine if needed), and when to seek emergency medical help. Make sure you fully understand all of this so you can clearly pass along the information.

-What medications (epic pens, inhalers) does the child need with them each day?
-Where do those medications stay at school (a spot in the classroom, on their desk? On their person)?
-What symptoms is everyone to be aware of?
-What treatment is needed?
-Who administers the treatment?
-Who gets called first?
-If your child needs to go to the hospital, who will travel with them?

Label food containers, lunch boxes, bag, backpacks and medications:
Ensure that any medications your child may need, such as epinephrine auto-injectors, are properly labeled with their name and dosage instructions. Provide a backup dose of medication to keep at the school if needed. Make sure all backpacks, bags, lunch bags, snack container and water bottles are labeled with these Custom Medical Alert Label Pack for school kids.  Educate your kids child about their allergies:

-How to recognize symptoms of a reaction
-What triggers their allergens
-How to avoid allergens
-What to do if they have a reaction

Make sure they know all this information like the back of their hand. Teach them how to communicate their allergies to teachers and peers, and give them tips on what to say and how to advocate for themselves.

Discuss allergy accommodations with school staff:
Work with school staff to develop the accommodations needed for your child’s allergies. This may include measures like nut-free classrooms or lunch areas, allergen-free snacks provided by the school, and special seating arrangements in the cafeteria. Include all of this in your action plan.

If your child has lunches provided or gets food from the cafeteria, make sure you ask questions:

-How will they identify your child when serving food
-How will they manage possible cross-contact within the kitchen?
-Will a staff member be watching child over the lunchtime period?

Make sure that the school has steps in place to ensure that the allergy action plan is passed along to all teachers, including substitute teachers! Don’t be afraid to ask them about this often. You may feel like an annoyance, but it benefits your child’s health, and they may appreciate or need the reminders!

Pack Safe Snacks and Meals:
This goes without saying: If your child has food allergies, provide safe snacks and meals for them to bring to school. Make sure they understand not to share food with classmates and to always check ingredient labels. If you don’t take it seriously, nobody else will, either.

Stay Informed of policies:
Stay informed about school policies and procedures related to allergies and any updates or changes. Keep lines of communication open with school staff and be proactive in addressing any concerns or issues that arise, especially for sports events, outings and field trips etc. when routines change.

Review and Update Regularly:
Review your child’s allergy action plan and accommodations regularly to ensure they remain up-to-date and effective. Make any necessary revisions based on changes in your child’s allergies or medical needs.

Preparing and communicating effectively with school staff and your family doctor can help ensure a safe and supportive environment for your child with allergies.

The post How to Set Up Your Kids Allergy Plan for School appeared first on The Mabelhood.

…the joy of seeing your child run, explore, and get a little dirty in the great outdoors is an experience like no other!

It is critical to be well-prepared with the right gear and supplies for forest school. With the right items, the unique learning experience offered by the great outdoors will be more enjoyable for your kids.

Here’s a list of essentials to buy and pack for forest school:

Clothing Essentials Needed for Forest School:

Comfortable Clothes: Dress in layers suitable for the weather. Consider moisture-wicking materials. Soft clothing like sweatpants should be worn under waterproof pants. Thicker pants are good for keeping bugs away. Try to always buy moisture-wicking clothing and dress in layers. 

Tall socks: Always wear tall socks to help keep pesky ticks at bay! Pack LOTS of space socks for your kids to take with them each day. There is nothing worse than cold, wet feet!

Waterproof Jacket: This jacket protects from rain or wind. Depending on your climate, you may also need another layer of jacket for warmth.

Waterproof Pants: Keeps legs dry during wet weather or when sitting, crawling, and climbing on damp ground.

Sturdy Shoes or Boots: Closed-toe footwear suitable for walking on uneven terrain. Make sure they’re fully waterproof and comfortable.

Hat: For the summer months, get a wide-brim, breathable material. Depending on where you live, you may need a hat for warmth on chilly mornings.

Gloves: If you live in a colder climate, you must stock up on your winter clothing. Neck warmers, hand warmers, hats, etc. 

Extra Clothes: Spare clothes for unexpected weather changes or if clothes get wet/muddy. It’s essential they have options, and always remember to provide layers!

Name labels! Don’t forget to label everything! Clothing can so easily get mix-up and left behind, but a name label can save you costly replacements! Here is a pack of waterproof clothing labels that will withstand the sweat, water, dirt and mud your kids will be putting them through, Plus, they’re laundry-safe!

Extra Supplies and gear needed for forest school:

Backpack: To carry all necessary items comfortably. Make sure it has extra compartments for organization and a quick access pocket for your water bottle.

Water Bottle: Stay hydrated throughout the day with a BPA-free water bottle. Don’t get something too heavy. And don’t forget to label it to avoid germy mix-ups with other kids!

Healthy Snacks: Energy-boosting snacks like fruits, nuts, or granola bars are great options to pack each day for your kids. The extra protein will be required based on how active they’ll be!

Packed Lunch: Nutritious meal for longer forest school sessions. We love bento-style boxes that offer a variety of compartments, which is especially good for picky eaters who like many options.

First Aid Kit: Basic supplies for treating minor cuts, scrapes, or insect bites. If your child has allergies, consider these labels to keep them safe! 

Sunscreen: It’s a no-brainer, even on cloudy days!

Insect Repellent: Keep bugs at bay during outdoor activities, especially when the season change and the pesky bugs come biting!

Notebook and Pen: For jotting down observations or taking notes during activities. Your particular school may provide these or have recommendations on the type they prefer.

Whistle: For emergencies or to gather attention, it’s essential.

Towel or Blanket: Useful for sitting during breaks or picnics, for wiping, for warmth – truly multifunctional! keep it very light and easy to pack.

Optional Forest School Supplies You May Want to Purchase:

Magnifying Glass: Explore small details in nature up close; kids love to see the details of bugs, moss, and other small items in nature.

Binoculars: Spot birds or other wildlife from a distance.

Field Guides: Identify plants, animals, or insects encountered during outdoor explorations. Depending on your school, these may be provided.

Camera: Capture memories or interesting finds; it’s an excellent way for kids to put together projects and record their findings.  

Remember, the specific items needed may vary depending on the school, the activities planned, the duration of the forest school session, and the local weather conditions.  

By ensuring you have these essentials, you’ll be ready to make the most of your forest school experience. Remember to check the specific requirements of your forest school program and tailor your packing list accordingly. With the right gear and supplies, your kids can focus on enjoying nature and all the learning opportunities it has to offer.

Heading to traditional school? Check out this school supply list!

The post Your Complete Forest School Packing List: What to Buy and Pack appeared first on The Mabelhood.

A few questions never get old; they are asked over and over again because they are top of mind for virtually all parents of babies and young children. So, here are parents’ top sleep questions: a sleep consultant answers the biggest hurdles to those baby sleep challenges!

My baby wakes SO early; how can I get her to sleep longer in the morning?!

Much to the chagrin of parents worldwide, it is actually very biologically appropriate for babies and toddlers to wake for the day between 6-7 am. However, if you’re dealing with daily 4:30 am wake-ups, that’s a whole different ball game!

One of the biggest reasons babies wake very early is over-tiredness at bedtime. I know, I know – this is totally counter-intuitive: shouldn’t a baby sleep longer if he’s super tired going to bed the night before? You’d think so, but, sadly, it’s not the case.

The more tired and overstimulated your child is at bedtime, the harder it’s going to be for him to get into a nice, deep, restful sleep, and stay sleeping during those early hours of the morning when he is in a lighter stage of sleep. So, implement an early bedtime, give it some time, and you should see a change in those crack-of-dawn wakes!

Why does my baby always wake and cry as soon as I try to put her in the crib?

If your child is always put to sleep (by rocking, feeding, bouncing on an exercise ball, dancing with mommy to J-Lo’s greatest hits, etc. Trust me, I’ve heard it all!), then she will be very unfamiliar with being in her crib. And, if she is still in a light stage of sleep when she is placed in it, she will likely wake immediately and protest at being taken from her familiar place (your arms) into a place she is less comfortable with (her crib).

As tough as the process can be sometimes, it is important for proper sleep that your child be placed in her crib awake and allowed opportunities to learn to fall asleep on her own. This is how she will become more familiar with her own sleep space and with falling asleep in it.

My baby only every naps for 45 minutes – why?

Ah, yes, the 45 minute nap – the bane of so many new parents’ existence. Here’s the deal: 45 minutes is exactly one sleep cycle for a baby. Your little one is in a light stage of sleep at this point in his nap. Babies (and adults!) with healthy, independent sleep skills will roll straight through this into their next sleep cycle, with little more than a rustle or a grunt.

Babies who are not comfortable falling asleep on their own, however, will wake very abruptly at this point, looking for whatever (or whomever!) got them to sleep at the beginning of the nap, to get them back to sleep again. “Hey mom! Hey dad! Where’s the soother that I went to sleep with 45 minutes ago? Get it back here, please… NOW!!”

My baby is 5 months and still taking 3 naps per day – how do I get out of the house, like, ever?

It is not necessary to be “trapped by the nap” simply because you have a young baby. It is possible to have a baby with proper, healthy sleep habits and be a mom who gets out of the house. While I don’t recommend making naps on-the-go every single day, here’s how to get out and regain your sanity a couple times per week!: Ensure the first nap of the day is at home whenever possible – this nap is usually the easiest and longest and sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Then, get out! When your baby wakes, head to the coffee shop to meet up with your girlfriends, and enjoy some adult time. Let your baby have his second nap on the drive or the stroll home. Then, make the third nap of the day at home again. In my experience, this is the get-out-of-the-house strategy to which babies respond best.

We are travelling out of the country next month – how do I make sure my baby’s sleep doesn’t suffer?

Babies love familiarity and don’t enjoy surprises in their schedules, but this doesn’t mean that travel with baby has to be a sleep disaster! Make things on vacation as similar to your baby’s regular scenarios as possible, to help her feel comfortable and safe at nap times and bedtimes.

Do the same pre-bed routine that you do at home, and make her environment similar to what she is used to: if she uses a sleep sack and a snuggly buddy at home, ensure those are with you while you travel. And, if she is in her own quiet sleep space at home, ensure she will also have her own area for sleep (in a crib or playpen or other appropriate, separate sleep space) while away from home.

If you are travelling to a different time zone, my advice is to simply jump into the new time zone when you leave, and jump right back to your usual time zone when you return.

My toddler sometimes takes hours to fall asleep at night – how can I get him to stop singing to his teddy bear and start sleeping?!

Many parents are unaware of just how much sleep their child needs – for children under 10 years of age, believe it or not, it’s 10-12 hours per night! Further, children are biologically more ready for sleep at around 7pm, and become increasingly overtired and overstimulated, and increasingly less ready for sleep, as the evening wears on.

Don’t be afraid of an early bedtime! Sometimes just this change alone can make a world of difference in how easily your toddler or preschooler will hit the hay.

When should I start implementing a consistent bedtime routine for my baby?

The short answer? Yesterday. It is never too early to start a consistent, daily bedtime routine for your baby.

This can include, for example, a bath, into comfy pajamas, putting on a swaddle or sleep sack (depending on age and preference), having a great bedtime feed, and then reading a book and singing a sweet song as you place your cutie in her crib. Sound simple? It really can be! But the key is consistency!

What’s the deal with sleep sacks?

Sleep sacks are, in a word, awesome. For babies who hate the swaddle, they are great to use from day one. For babies who have outgrown the swaddle phase, sleep sacks are a great transition.

They keep your baby warm and cozy, and offer your child an excellent, positive sleep cue. And, bonus: they keep curious little monkeys from climbing out of cribs when they are old enough to have thoughts of doing so!

Is white noise actually helpful?

Yes! While babies can certainly learn healthy, proper sleep habits without white noise, a sound machine or white noise app can introduce huge benefits to your child’s sleep if you live on a busy street, have a loud pet or a noisy older toddler running around.

If you choose to use a sound machine, it is very important that it be on a white noise or rain setting (no jungle sounds or breaking ocean waves that will stimulate your child), and that it be on continuously, rather than on a timer that will turn off while your child is trying to get from one sleep cycle to the next (ahem – I’m talking to you, Mr. Sleepy Sheep).

I keep putting my baby down “drowsy but awake,” like the books are telling me, but he is still not sleeping any longer/better! What gives?

I know I’m going against the advice of about 100 sleep books here but, folks, in my experience, “drowsy but awake” simply does not work. Why? Because it’s pretty much the same thing as putting your child all the way to sleep before placing her in the crib, and then expecting her to have any idea of how to put herself back to sleep when she wakes at night.

If you do all the work of putting your baby sleep (e.g. feeding until she passes out in your arms) or even most or some of the work (i.e. rocking until your kiddo’s eyelids are drooping and head is bobbing), then your child will have no opportunity to learn to fall asleep in her crib on her own. They will always wake up at night (or 45 minutes into a nap) looking for the same thing that got her to sleep in the first place to get her back to sleep. So, put your angel in her sleep sack, read her a story, and then put her in her crib awake to fall asleep on her own, and – with time and lots of practice! – she will amaze you with her fantastic, long, restful sleeps.

Ever wondered if you are keeping your child up long enough or too long? Check out this FREE Awake Time Chart you can print and reference at any time!

…

The post Parents’ Top Sleep Questions: A Sleep Consultant Answers. appeared first on The Mabelhood.

How to organize the schedule between both parents:

Start discussing the school schedule well in advance to avoid any last-minute conflicts.  Consider the following:

-PA Days
-Doctor and dentist appointments (especially any that may impact your ex’s days  or pick-up times)
-Parent-teacher interviews
-pick up and drop off’s
-extracurricular schedules
-Special days (pink shirt days, pizza days etc.)

Make sure it’s on everyone’s calendar and that any adjustments to the calendar or schedule have been discussed in advance. Make sure everyone is aware of what each day entails and has the items needed.

Coordinate supplies and schedule:  

Coordinate your shopping trips to avoid duplicating purchases or missing out on essential items at the beginning of the school year. Share information about what you plan to shop for, and what you have already bought. Some items will work best if doubled up, others not so much.  (Don’t forget to add labels to your list!)

Have a plan for coordinating the schedule and making sure that they have everything they need when they need it. For example, if they have dance class, make sure the dance gear is where it needs to be regardless of who’s house, they’re sleeping at. Putting this responsibility on your kids is too much, you need to help them sort it out. Having a set plan and open communication will make everything go smoother.

So make a schedule and post it somewhere that’s visible to both parents. That way, when it’s dance night, they won’t be without their clothes and shoes.

Co-parents and how to communicate with the school:

Always have open and respectful communication with one another, with your kids, and with the school. Make sure all important information from the school is shared with both parents. Discuss any concerns, but try and keep the kids out of any potential conflict.

Have budget expectations for each parent:

Agree on a budget for school expenses and discuss how you will split the costs. This will help avoid any financial disagreements.  For example, school trips, new clothing and back-to-school supplies, extracurriculars etc.

Decide on which parent will attend your child’s school or sporting events:

Ideally, both parents can attend sporting games, parent-teacher interviews, school open-houses etc. But if this will cause too much tension, it’s best to create a schedule of who attends what ahead of time, and let your kids know so they’re not disappointed.

If you can manage to put your differences aside and both attend, it will have a positive impact on your kids. It will also help everyone in the family know who the teachers are, meet the coaches, and communicate effectively. If one parent doesn’t attend, the other parent will become the default opening the door to future confusion and conflict.

Understand one another’s house rules:  

Recognize that your ex may have different preferences or ideas about certain parenting ways. It’s important to have a conversation with one another about what happens in each home, and how to be open to compromise.

Screentime and kids’ on social media are often areas of conflict, share your thoughts privately (not in front of the kids) and try and find a common ground. Respect the rules you’ve created for each home. Use a mediator for any situations causing tension that may impact the kids.

Keeping routines similar between homes is important for the well-being of the kids; so try and work towards similar:

sleep schedules
snack routines
homework expectations

Children do better at school when their parents Work together to maintain consistency in both homes.

Keep the child’s best interests in mind:

At the end of each day, the goal is to provide the best possible experience for your kids. Put their needs first and prioritize their comfort levels, their preferences, and most of all, their well-being throughout the school year.

Co-parent as a team:

Always stay focused on cooperation and teamwork. Your kids will benefit from seeing their parents working well together, and this can have a positive impact on their mental health.

Seek mediation if you’re experiencing conflict: 

A new school year is tough for any family. But especially those newly separated. When you add in the scheduling conflicts that co-parents have to deal with, shared parenting during the school year can be very stressful. If you are having trouble working as a team, mediation is a great way to problem solve and create a plan for the best interest of your kids moving forward. If your child is showing signs of struggle, make sure to get them help too. Here are some tips of your child is experiencing anxiety about the school year.

Co-parenting requires patience and compromise. It will look different for each family, of course, but a few things are for sure: open and respectful lines of communication and prioritizing your kids’ needs will help your child have a positive school year!

The post How to Co-Parent Through the Back-to-School Transition appeared first on The Mabelhood.

So, I started looking for tips to limit screen time this summer.

They’re not having adventures, digging up worms, or kissing boys under the bleachers. Instead, it has me worried for them. So, I’ve decided my kids will have at least a little bit of the summers I had. But how do I pry them off their screens?

It important to allow them to have an old-fashioned summer, but there is a lot to it. First, of course, we all know the effects of blue light. But screens also impact kids’ behavior; it causes poor sleep, desensitizes the reward system, and can cause aggression, addiction, and much more.

 It is well-established that the abundant access to programming and online content can negatively impact SACA (school-aged children and adolescents) including exposure to risky lifestyle behaviors (e.g., unhealthy food, beverage and alcohol consumption) through marketing and advertising, issues of “digital dependency” or screen addiction, as well as, risks of exposure to cyberbullying, age-inappropriate and violent content, or sexual exploitation. Because of these concerns, both American and Canadian Pediatric Societies issued a recommendation of no more than 2 hours per day of screen time in SACA. 

We don’t want to deny our kids the use of devices; we simply want to teach and promote the healthy use of devices. It is 2022, and devices are a part of our lives for everyone- there is no getting around it. But it’s important that our kids understand its negative impacts so they can grow up using tech responsibly.

Every family is different, and every family will have different schedules and priorities, so you must find what works best for you and your family dynamic. Here are tips to limit screen time, but remember that you can choose which tip fits best with your family. Try something out, adapt it to work for you, or combine strategies until you find a good fit.

Here are ways to limit screen time; take what strategy you need: 

1) Our hard rule: No screens at the dinner table.

In our family, this is totally unacceptable, and the rule applies to everyone. No exceptions. This rule has always been in place, so we’ve never had issues enforcing it. It’s a time for my family to reconnect (even if just for a half-hour). We touch base and regroup before going our own ways again. This time is crucial to my family dynamic; screens at our table will never be welcome.

2) Screen-free day

Pick one day a week where no screens are allowed. Let’s say Saturday. Plenty of other activities are happening on the weekends, so distracting them from their devices will be easier than a day when parents are busy working or have fewer distractions.

3) Limit the hours

Cut back on the hours that screens are allowed. How you do this will need to be decided by you. Some families like to turn off the wifi after dinner. We find this doesn’t work in our house. This is the time my teens want to connect with their friends. It’s when their friends are primarily online and making plans. If we restrict hours- it’s during the day. Once chores are done, activities have been completed, they’ve got some exercise and accomplished something before being allowed to veg out with a device.

One key thing to remember as the parent- it’s so easy to get distracted and forget to limit the hours. Before you know it, you’ve allowed 3 hours of screens- you need to keep close tabs on the time because your kids certainly won’t alert you to exceeding the time limit!

 4) Never right before bed

Despite saying our kids have devices in the evening, it’s important to note they DO NOT keep the device in their rooms overnight, and we make sure they put the device away an hour before bed. Teens and preteens need sleep- they’re still developing, and a lack of sleep can significantly impact their wellbeing. Devices go into the dining room to charge an hour before bed (they usually sneak some TV, which I suppose is also a screen… but as I said, nobody is perfect). Here are some of the impacts blue light has on tweens and teens.

5) Don’t take screens away as a consequence

This never works. It breeds resentment. Having it, then taking it away makes kids angry. I recall once when my husband removed all screens from the kids because of misbehavior.. on a weekend when he was going away for work. I had to follow through on the consequence (we parent as a united front), but I, too, was resentful because it meant I had little downtime with 2 young kids who were nagging and bored for the weekend. Instead…

 6) Use screens as a reward:

Kids and teens like to work towards something, giving screen time as a reward. For example, once homework is complete or chores are done. Once they’ve mowed the lawn or helped empty the dishwasher. They are then free to have some screen time. The opportunity to earn screen time is very motivating for kids.

Over time, you can increase the jobs that need to be completed before screen time is given. Often, going outside for some playtime or exercise for an hour before screens can result in your kids discovering something they didn’t know they loved. Plus, it teaches them accountability.

For example, I send my son outside for an hour of exercise before he can access screens. Then, he meets up with some friends, they start playing basketball, and before we know it- he has been out for over 3 hours. WIN!

7) Lead by example.

We need to check ourselves too, lead by example. Here is one moms account of limiting her screen time.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

How long it takes to see a difference will depend on how often your kids use screens and their ages. Suppose you’ve never ever enforced screen rules or discussed screen time’s positives and negatives. In that case, you’ll probably find it harder to implement and have some rough times. But it will be worth it. You need to persevere; you’ll thank yourself when you see the changes in your kids.

It’s all about moderation, don’t cut them off. They’ll have great resentment, and we must remember that screens have benefits and are a way for them to connect with their peer group. Moderation is key, like so many other things in life.
Talk openly with your family about the device and use of tech. Make sure everyone understands the positives and negatives of screen time and its impacts on development. Giving them the info empowers them to make intelligent choices for themselves- our goal as parents is to set them up for success. Make it a part of their own values. Having a plan as a family and working together makes it more rewarding for everyone. It makes the process of limiting screen time less argumentative and more of a fun family challenge. Okay, full disclosure; it won’t always be fun, but it will be worth it.

The post How to Limit Summer Screen Time   appeared first on The Mabelhood.

 Firstly, parents should remember that disagreements are a part of life, and we don’t want to jump to conclusions over every peer conflict. It’s healthy and typical for kids to deal with peer conflict, and they must learn to manage the situations. Here are a few essential differences that parents should be aware of between bullying and peer conflict:  

•  Peer conflict is a MUTUAL disagreement between two kids
•  It typically resolves itself quickly 
•  This conflict doesn’t include a power struggle 
•  Kids will mention this type of conflict to parents
•  There are no threats or violence

So, what if this conflict has gone too far? Or is it a one-sided power struggle? Or perhaps you suspect something is up, but your child is hesitant to talk about it. That’s your red flag. Of course, we want to do everything in our power to make our children happy and safe, but it’s hard to know where to begin. So, here are some signs your child may be being bullied and the following steps to take if it happens.  

 Emotional Signs your child may be bullied:

• Your child doesn’t want to go to school, faking illness, or having a tummy ache.
•  They withdraw from peers and family. 
•  You observe changes in their behavior, and they may become angry.
•  A drop in their grades at school, loss of interest.
•  Either lose their appetite or overeat. 
•  Becoming anxious or nervous. 
•  Lack of sleep or sudden nightmares. 
•  Harming themselves, or self-deprecation (saying they’re stupid, etc.) 

 Physical signs: 

•  Bruises, cuts   
• Sudden “lost” personal items (phone, ear buds etc.)
•  Damaged items (clothing, bag, etc.)  

Often our kids don’t want to tell parents about bullying. They feel it’s their fault or that it will become worse or make them a snitch. They have feelings of embarrassment and shame. Kids worry that parents will react with anger, be disappointed in them, or become reactive and escalate the problem.

You’ve seen the signs of bullying, but now what? 

 It’s hard as a parent to know what steps to take next. Again, the mama-bear comes out, and we want revenge; however, logically, we know this isn’t the right thing to do. During this time, your child is vulnerable, and you mustn’t lose their trust. So always approach the situation calmly and logically. It’s important to stay calm, don’t get angry. If they see you react in a big way, they’ll pull back and won’t work with you or communicate. 

 The two most important things to remember is to let them know it’s not their fault. Secondly, make it clear that you’re there to support them through this. Children often don’t want you involved; they worry it will worsen. So, it would be best if you made it clear that you’ll work together to ensure the situation changes. 

 Here are some tips on the next steps:  

•   Gently approach the subject or ask questions when they hint at it. 
•  Praise your child for speaking up.   
•  Open and positive communication during this time is key. Working together allows your child to trust you, making them feel comfortable opening up. 
•  Explain that it is not their fault and that you’re proud of them. 
•  Reassure them that you will work together to change the situation and find a solution. 
•  Work hard over the following weeks to build up their confidence. 
•  Find and encourage friendships that are positive for them.  
•  Tell the teacher, principal, counselor, or trustee.  
•  Offer counseling for your child.
•  Suggest the buddy system, a friend who will be supportive and your child can count on to walk home with, eat lunch with, etc.

  Remember that this is a time to start rebuilding your child’s confidence. It’s an opportunity to strengthen the relationship and the trust you have with your child. Most importantly, it’s crucial that you get the help both you and your child require to get yourselves through difficult times. For crisis help please reach out to these organizations for assistance

The post Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied, and What to Do Next appeared first on The Mabelhood.

Here is a crash course on what I’ve learned about staying organized (being a cheer mom can be a full-time job on top of a regular full-time job). I learned through experience, and I want other newbie cheer moms to have an easier go – so follow these tips and you’ll go from rookie to All-star in cheer-mom organization!

There is much more to cheer than I imagined before signing my daughter up.  It’s a whole new world, a whole culture with new friends, new schedules, and new priorities. Not to mention new hairstyles, new clothing to buy, recent injuries to worry about, and fitness regimes to keep up with.

Create a schedule:

Start a homework schedule to ensure your child can manage practice while keeping up with their work. Training is mandatory for the success of the team, so it’s essential that you can manage both. Help your kids find a schedule that allows them to practice cheer, complete homework, and still get a good night’s sleep.

Get a planner:

Keep everything in your day planner; the schedules can quickly become hard to manage, and if you’re like me, writing things down is a must! So here is the best planner; you can customize it any way you like – and design it down to the color.

Practice hair and makeup:

Whether we like it or not, appearance is a big part of the cheer world. It took me some time to come around to the idea of putting my daughter in makeup. I’ve since learned the importance of it. Unfortunately, I’ve also had to teach myself to become good at it. There are videos like this one that can help you figure it out, and the veteran cheer moms are all so welcoming and happy to help.

Label Everything:

All the girls have identical items, from shoes to bows to makeup brushes, water bottles, and uniforms. Of course, it all must be labeled. I’ve been lucky enough to try out the NEW Mabel’s Labels Dance and Cheer Label Pack, and it’s been a game-changer for helping me stay organized. My daughter can quickly and easily spot her items, we no longer worry about germy water bottle swaps, and her bag is easy to identify. Plus, it’s all waterproof and machine washable, and dishwasher safe too.  Plus, they have ultra-cute cheer designs that girls all love!

Here is a quick pack list remember, everything is always labeled (top tip to be an organized Cheer Mom)!

-Snacks and protein bars and plenty of water!
-Ice packs and bandages (unfortunately, sprains and injuries happen)
-Pain relievers / first aid kit
-Knix Period-proof underwear (whether for my daughter or another girl who may get caught off guard)
-Portable charger (someone always forgets to charge)
-Bobby pins, hair ties, and hair spray
-Dry shampoo, portable flat iron
-Fabric tape, safety pins, and a small sewing kit

Follow the social media groups, and stay in contact!

If your squad has a social media group – follow it, join the parent’s what’s app group chat, and ensure you have everyone’s numbers. Sometimes things change, and you need to stay in the loop. So it’s imperative that you know what’s going on, what time, where people are meeting, and any other coaching changes that can be crucial information to have.

Avoid the drama

Remember that you’re the parent. Show good sportsmanship and support your team all along the way but remember that the coach always makes important decisions. Even when we don’t like or understand the choices they may make – we must respect them. Always be a good sports parent!

The post Organization Tips for a Rookie Cheer Mom appeared first on The Mabelhood.

Simplify

The holidays create a sense of urgency and the need to overdo even the simplest tasks. Whether it be stressing over what your family is going to wear for Christmas cards or what elaborate dessert you’re going to bring to your family gathering, there is always something that has the potential to get out of hand. Try simplifying by using outfits that you and your kids already have or baking your tried-and-true chocolate chip cookie recipe. The heart behind these gestures will remain but remove all the complication from the tasks.

Plan Ahead

I am most frazzled and overwhelmed when my schedule isn’t planned out. To avoid stress during the holidays, I make sure to have everything written out on my calendar at least a month in advance. This helps me to know when I need babysitters, when we’re celebrating Christmas with different sides of the family and everything in between. Planning ahead with our schedule (and our finances) helps us to feel less stressed and more joyful during the holiday season.

Prioritize

Prioritizing is HUGE. There are so many opportunities for fun things during the holiday season: tree lightings, friendsgivings, gift exchanges, parties, work events and so on. If you want to attend them all, by all means: go for it! If that stresses you out, learn to prioritize the people and the events that are most important to you. AND don’t be afraid to say no when something comes up you can’t attend.

Focus on Making Memories

A huge way to overcome overwhelm during the holiday season is to adjust your mindset and choose memories over things. Instead of a million toys, give your kids the gift of experiences and time together as a family – these memories will last a lifetime longer than a new Lego set.

Express Gratitude

I have found that the best way to overcome overwhelm is to express gratitude often. Tell the people you love how grateful you are for them. Remind your kids of all the blessings in their lives. Place your focus on what you have and not on what you may want.

Bonus Helpful Holiday Hacks:

1. Pre-plan your holiday menu around what works, not what you think you SHOULD do. If cooking a whole turkey is too stressful, just buy turkey breasts!  
2. Shop online for your holiday groceries. It will save you the stress of the parking lot and keeps you focused so you won’t be tempted by seasonal chocolate displays
3. Buy and wrap some chocolate or wine for those unexpected moments when someone brings you a gift. That way you can quickly grab something to reciprocate. 
4. Prepare your kid’s gifts before wrapping them: add the batteries, cut all those pesky packaging ties etc. (This will avoid the meltdown while dad takes too long to cut the toys out of the package and search for batteries)
5. Having a lot of guests this holiday season? Prepare and freeze your favorite soups to pull
   out in a pinch
6. Stay out of the busy mall traffic and do your holiday shopping online. Just be sure to place your orders before the shipping cutoff! 

   Wondering what moms really want for Christmas? Check these ideas out.

The post 5 Ways to Overcome Holiday Stress This Season appeared first on The Mabelhood.

It hit me hard when I learned that 3 out of 10 girls experience puberty at the age of 8. That means you only spend about 8-10 years parenting your little girl. The rest of the time, you’re parenting your daughter as a woman. So, it’s about time we focus on what it means to parent a young woman.   

Did you know? Studies have shown that since the covid pandemic, the age of puberty has decreased.

you only spend about 8-10 years parenting your little girl. The rest of the time, you’re parenting your daughter as a woman

Unfortunately, it’s common for Dads to withdraw from their daughters as they go through puberty. What was once a strong, loving relationship somehow changes as our girls develop. Most Dads step back because this is all ‘girl stuff’; this couldn’t be farther from the truth. The more dads “get out of the way,” the more our girls feel ashamed about the changes they’re going through and are made to feel they’re no longer lovable to their dads. 

Dads feel uncomfortable, and step-back and daughters perceive this as rejection. From there, the relationship can crumble, and what once was a loving bond is gone. Dads, we need to make sure this doesn’t happen; it’s up to us to put our embarrassment aside for the sake of our girls. We need to break the cycle. 

Here is what I’ve learned from raising girls going through puberty (yes, we’re as strong as ever!):

Start talking to your girls when they are young 

Young girls are naturally inquisitive, which should be used to your advantage. Start by talking about periods and the changes bodies undergo at a young age. Keep the conversation age-appropriate. They’re not yet embarrassed, ashamed, or even aware of the taboo of talking about bodies, so they’ll ask questions openly. You need to make the most of these teachable moments, not only for the facts but for letting your daughter know you’re always available to discuss the topic.

Inform yourself about your daughters puberty

Make sure you know what you’re talking about. Read THIS, research products, and make sure you have answers to common questions. If you don’t know the answer, admit it. Feel free to say, “I’m not sure. Let’s call Aunt Becky,” or “let’s check with mom.”   

Make yourself aware of what the extra estrogen in their body can cause, like heavy periods, painful periods, moodiness, bloating, water retention, and other symptoms that can make your daughter feel the pits. Being aware of this allows you to be a more understanding father and be able to sympathize and help where needed.  

Find companies with subscription boxes (dad of the year!) Read books and inform yourself.  This Canadian brand, is amazing to buy (if you’re from Canada) as your daughter’s body starts to change and you need her to be prepared.  

Stay positive and loving to your daughters, always

If this time feels confusing to you, imagine how it must feel to her. It’s essential that during the time while her body is changing, she isn’t also feeling like her dad is withdrawing or pulling away. She’s already feeling uncomfortable in her skin and making comparisons with her friends. She needs your love to be unconditional.

Know how to help your daughter through tough days

If she’s feeling down, ask if she wants a heating pad for cramps, make her a healthy smoothie, or offer a bar of chocolate. Validate her feelings, help ease symptoms, and show you will make her feel connected to you and make her feel loved. This also teaches her to find a partner who respects and cares for her.

Compliment her on all the things she does well

Compliment her on the things she does well. High-five her, uplift her, hug her and respect her. Remind her how loved she is. Girls can feel so awkward and uncomfortable in their bodies. They may worry that the changes mean you won’t love them as they did when they were little girls. Make sure to show them that this isn’t the case. The relationship will be different but can remain just as strong. 

A good time for dad jokes

The topic of puberty can be awkward for kids and teens, so now may be the perfect time to inject some of your terrible dad jokes. Sure, your kid will roll her eyes. But you’re letting her know the relationship remains strong; it will ease the tension and let her know it’s okay to laugh and joke about big topics, making her more likely to approach you when she may need you again. 

When girls feel loved and respected by important men in their life, she has higher self-esteem, holds higher standards and self-respect, and embraces her womanliness with open arms, not shame. So never underestimate the role you play as her dad. This is not a time to step aside. It’s a time to step up and embrace the awkwardness and embarrassment head-on. It will be challenging but being by her side and supportive as she stumbles through and showing her how much you adore her support her, and respect the woman she is becoming. You will benefit immeasurably from the changes as you’ll now be parenting your daughter as a woman, which is incredible to be a part of.

Another great read for dads in the Mabelhood- Please don’t stop hugging your sons 

The post 6 Ways Dads Can, and Should, Support Their Daughters throughout Puberty. appeared first on The Mabelhood.